Seraphiel´s blog: srpna 2018

This summer holiday I got entangled into the wishes of my dear beloved boyfriend who prefers to have it all inclusive so I succumbed. Only this once! We chose to go to Rhodes island in Greece into the Lalyssos area, which is about 15 minutes away from the Rhodes main town.

The flight was quite demanding, as we flew in the morning hours and arrived at midnight. There was millions of people at the airport at this hour, a chaotic turmoil and one very drunk or drugged woman, who kept despondendly running around looking for our delegate among myriads of others. It took us at least ten minutes to locate our station and get through the crowds. We then had to find the bus on the colossal bus depot and sit on the bus for another hour, as the crazy woman had a fit of rage and started arguing outside the bus with her husband, drivers, and delegates, smashing her phone on the ground in the process. What a start to our holiday!

When we finally arrived, we were taken to the main reception and given key room. The bell boy then sat us down into his golf car and drove us away into the annex building, distant perhaps 300 metres away, in the zone of a dead donkey, so to say. My fears came true the moment he took us to the elevator that could barely fit in two people at a time, claustrophobically small, with broken parts in the ceiling and with no air to breath. Fortunatelly, the room was relatively nice and after visible facelift. However, it had a terrible view of nothing in particular, at most the neighboring wall of some unidentified building and there were pigeons sitting in every nook and cranny, looking startled when I discovered them. We were quite thirsty after travelling three hours deprived of a drop of water, so we went to have a drink at the main bar. There were planes flying across our hotel every ten minutes, which I thought was hillarious, and secretly hoped that one of them doesn´t fall down just when I´m enjoying my Sex on the beach.

In the morning we ventured into the main hotel canteen, where I was taken aback by avalanche of tourists who had the same idea. I have never seen so many people in my life, I mean, having a mutual breakfast. It seemed so unnatural and I suddenly felt slightly sociophobic, to be honest. There was plenty of food for everyone, more than we could ever digest, but I didn´t enjoy this mass moment of maddness, where you consumed and consumed, until you couldn´t consume anymore, as you were devastatingly bursting full and sick from mixture of eggs, sausages, bacon, beans, bread, mushrooms, yoghurt, croissants, coffee and sweet artificial juice. I just couldn´t handle the proprotions of it all and also the noise and movements of all the adults and kids fighting for a free table. Breakfast should be an indulging, private moment, not a football match arena. I nostalgically remembered the great and quiet times in Italy, which was a huge contrast to this experience. The same went for lunch and dinner, only dinner was in much bigger megalomaniac proportions. I couldn´t just decide what meal to have, so I usually chose everything, which not always matched together. If you happened to come late for your dinner, you had a tough luck. You had to queue in a long line and let the staff with walkie talkies navigate you to your table. I was turning into a sociopath more and more each and every day, secretly wishing all these hordes would just magically disappear.

On the second day of our stay, I was already nervous from having nothing to do. If you didn´t lie on the beach or by the swimming pool, there was nothing much else to do than sit in the main bar and drink until you had your mouth glued together with all the sugar. I was bored beyond imagination as we sat in the bar all evening and had nothing else to do than watch Germans play kanasta and see ocassional planes flying above. Maybe bit of a night entertainment would be good. Some kind of live music or little bit of dance. But no, there was absolutely nothing and the idea of spending my time sitting in the same position for another six days seemed unimaginable.

After my litany on how boring the life in hotel resort is, my boyfriend decided we will visit a town of Rhodos the next day. We knew there is a bus station somewhere nearby, so we took a random stroll in that direction and discovered not only a station, but also several markets and seafood restaurant, which cought our attention. The tour to the city could have taken 20 minutes as we were stopping at every station, but it started to get packed the more we approched the city. It was incredibly hot outside and we barely walked, slowly wandering around the old city perimeters and the castle streets and secret corridors. The old city is built within the castle, so you actually walk among the pathways of medieval royal routes,where I could imagine, used to travel the knights on their horses. It was very romantic and photogenic part of town. You could buy a portrait on the street of Artists or visit a Master castle or archeological ruins, but you had to pay for everything. Even taking a photo of a motorbike was prohibited, as there was a sign:“if you want a picture, you need to pay“. There were lovely little restaurants, so we decided to have Mousaka in Rustico. It was nice and comforting, but I have to say, the portion was petite and I can make better Mousaka than they did. The owner kept attending to us all the time and there was even an old musician playing Greek songs and Hallelujah by Cohen on his little guitar, which was sweet. The surprising fact to me was two mosques in the middle of town, so untypical for Greece. After the short stroll in the harbour, we went back to our station and home we went. I discovered a little donkey few yards from our hotel, in an isolated field tied to the tree. He aproached me and quisically studied my ever move, not fully decided if he should bite me or lick my hand. I preferd not to find out which one of those he chose to perform and just took his picture.

The main swimming pool was never really available, as all the people blocked the beds with towels right before breakfast and didn´t leave a single one or two for use. We could never swim in it as there were hundreds of children jumping about (despite the strict prohibition), so we had to put up with the little comfort of the beach beds, which were usually available. The sea looked better from the shore, but it was much worse when you got in. First of all, attempt at going in without any shoes was crazy, second, the amount of sea weed or other debris was at times alarming. The waves were constantly splashing against your face, so I had to use my sunglasess to avoid being blinded. Jaimito was upset at the amount of children, as he would prefer to swim in the swimming pool. He said, next time we´ll look for ADULT hotels only.

The next day we decided to rent a car. The cheapest one was Fiat Panda, but the one we got was the oldest and ugliest that was standing in the parking lot, so when I sat inside, I started protesting and demanding a swap. Jaimito was happy with the choice (eventhough he wasn´t really, only didn´t want to ask for another car), but when I discovered corosive bottom of the seat and bad air conditioning, I won. He went for a swap and got us much more beautiful, decent Nisan Micra, which cost him 5 EU more. I guess it was easier to pay it, than have me angry for the rest of our tour.

We drove from Kremesti, which was our starting position, via Paradisi and in the airport general direction. In Theologos we visited Petaloudes butterfly farm, which was an utter disappointment. They charged 5 EU for a 15 minute climbing up the steep hill through the forest, where was a little stream and several mini waterfalls (yes they called them waterfalls, eventhough they were just ordinary streams running down the cliff). There was a lot of butterflies, but you could barely see them, as their natural colouring was brown and they looked like Red Admiral type, which is common in most European countries. Jaimito carried his heavy rucksack and sweated out maybe a gallon of water, while trying to climb up and kill me at the same time, because it was my silly idea to go there in the first place.

The next stop was an ancient village of Kamiros. It was a city of ruins built on top of the mountain, so we had a beautiful view of the sea. It was a town of ruined stones, pillars and remnants of baths and public houses from pre-helenistic period. We imagined the old time thinkers and philosophers gathering in the local square and debating over cup of beer until the sunset. For Jaimito who loves and adores ruins, quite enjoyable. After this, we headed to the „renown“ beach restaurant Porto Antico, that had a „loud“ advertisement on all leaflets in the area. They said we can have 15 % discount on our meals and that their prices are „reasonable“. The view was nice enough, we looked across the beach onto the sea. But that was where all the fairness ended. The calamari I ordered for 13 EU were four little shrunk circles with one baked potato without salt or any hint of spices. It was actually astounding how much they dared to ask me to pay for it, considering the size portion. We also got no 15% discount! Understandably, the worst restaurant experience of my life in Greece. AVOID PORTO ANTICO my dear beloved friends. Go to the place next door, where everything is half price.

And then we drove a long distance across half of the island towards Lindos. It took perhaps half an hour to get there from our last destination, as we drove alongside the coast and had a wonderful view of the slowly approaching mountains. The little square of Lindos was so busy with traffic and nowhere to park, that we had a difficulty to find a spot for our car and had to drive to a remote street. It was more of a street cobweb rather than a town. There was this donkey station, where were tons of donkies loaded next to each other like bricks, solemnly standing and barely breathing with exhaustion, supporting their tired heads over their buddy´s back. It was very sad sight for me, the lover of donkies. The few guys who run this dirty touristic attraction tried to offer a ride on a donkey like they were selling a funfair ride. When I saw a 40 year old guy who must have been 95 kilos heavy, riding this poor animals´a back and smiling around vigorously like an idiot, I wanted to kick his arse so badly, he would never sit back on it. I wished I could help these creatures from their suffering, but didn´t know how. I understand all this belongs to the Greek kolorit and I understand if a child wants to ride a donkey, but come on, 40 year old guy? We didn´t have the strenght to climb all the way up the steep mountain to visit Lindos castle. It was too hot and we couldn´t wait to jump into a cold sea.

After we wrestled our way out of Lindos, we headed along the coast all way back towards Rhodes town. There is a famous beach, Anthony Quinn bay, where the movie GUNS OF NAVARONNE was made in 1960. So we visited this tiny jewel of a beach, which was not very spectacular at all. Just ordinary beach with few giant stones and smelly dark toilets, where one couldn´t change into swimming gear unless you dared to put your bag into the gross liquidy staff on the ground. We changed in the bushes, helping each other to protect our bodies from the eyes of all voyers. I think I forgot my white pair of shorts on the motorbike, while trying to squeeze into my swimsuit.

The next day we had an option to visit hotel´s own Greek restaurant, but you had to book yourself long ahead of time. We had booking made for 8 pm and it was very nice experience, I have to admit.This time we got a Menu counting nine hors d'oeuvrs, two main dishes and three desserts. We got a platter with tzatziki, spicy cream cheese, meliztanosalata, green and black olives, greek salad with feta, grilled octopus salad and fried squid, chips with mizithra cheese, pork Tigania and crab balls. They were all just small tapas but filling enough to make one complete dish. Then we both chose meat mix grill with village style sausage, chicken leg and pork souvlaki. By the time we ate our way through to pecan pie, we were so full, we couldn´t think of eating another two desserts, so we discreetly vanished. It was all delicious and all praise goes to this little tavern.

It all appears like we were doing nothing but drinking and eating, which is exactly what we did! The very next day we tried the seafood road restaurant, which was actually a fish shop connected with a little bistro, where you could choose freshly made seafood of all kinds. We had each a bowl of seafood paella for 7 EU and then grilled octopus, my first one! And the next day, we went for the same food again, as it was way too tasty to leave behind.

On the second day of our stay, I went to file a complaint as my hairdryer broke down. I reported it at the main reception and the receptionist took a note and said she will take care of it. For the next following six days or so, nobody came to fix it and nobody even cared, so I dried my hair in the balcony. I didn´t want to make a big fuss about what seemed like a minor problem. When we entered the Aqua park for the first time, which could have been on the fifth day of our stay, the lady on the premises stopped us and required to see our bracelet, which we didn´t have. She turned us back to the main reception, where we informed them and the main receptionist crossed herself when she discovered we have been moving about the hotel for all week without it, getting all inclusive service. The guy who inicially accepted us in the hotel on the night of arrival was of course responsible. When we got our bracelets, we could fully use the Aqua park, which we discovered was the best of all places, as you could easily get free sunbed, run under the various funny showers and also get a ride on one of the water slides, which of course, I tried out several times (for the first time in my life) and I had as much fun as never before.

I´ve never seen British people in such amount in holidays as in here. There was the biggest concentration in Rhodes, so it seemed. British, second German, third Czech and Polish. Towards the end we were so heavily overwhelmed by the sweet drinks from the bar. I´ve tried Screwdriver, Cuba Libre, Vodka tonic, Tequila Sunrise, Sex on the Beach, Gin Tonic, El Paradiso…but having too much sugar in my blood by then, I decided that beer is the only one to resfresh myself with. Most of those drinks were made from cheap alcohol and even cheaper versions of tonic and juice. Some of them tasted like toilet cleaners.

On the last day of our stay, we sort of didn´t realize we should check out at certain time, as our departure was scheduled for 9PM. We felt we had enough time and I completely forgot we should be leaving the room by morning, as all of my previous holidays I always had early departure and therefore never needed to know the check out time. What a big mistake! We spent morning hours in Aqua park, then we went to shop for some food into the main street stores, and only after that we returned to our room, where I found an envelope under the door. The time of the letter was 12:30, already half an hour late as the check out was supposed to be 12:00. But since we still didn´t know what´s going on, and the note didn´t say „please you missed your check out time“, I tried to call the reception to no avail and so we had to walk all the way back to main hotel. There we were approached by the receptionist, who six days ago took a note about my broken hairdryer and when she said we will have to pay 30 EU for late check out, we went berserk. She called the manager of reception to deal with us and when she insisted on regulations and our responsibilty to check out on time, we defended ourselves by pinpointing all the problems that their hotel was responsible for. We reminded them about the broken hairdryer and to this, the young receptionist said….“but it´s not my responsibility“, throwing mockingly all her responsibility away. I said, „well, why did you take a note and said you will take care of it, if it´s not your responsibilty. And by the way, whose responsibilty is it then, if not the front desk? The waiters?“ The manager said….“ok ok, so I will check with the maintenance if the hairdryer will be repaired“, and I said“ well, bit late for that now, when we are leaving, lady! “ She said something like „we don´t have an electrician in here“, so I went „well, maybe you should! “Then we reminded them of the elevator that hasn´t worked on several ocassions and Jaime took out his medical reports to show her he shouldn´t be really using stairs. She tried to play it cool and be in charge, but her abilities to save the situation were desparately lacking any skill. We had more arguments against the hotel, then the hotel had against us. After half an hour of sweaty arguing, she gave up and said we don´t need to pay anything. Sometimes you gotta fight for your right. Whenever there is a mistake on the part of the hotel, it seems fine…it´s just a minor issue and they think sorry will heal it. However, if you as a client make one slip up, you have to pay them extra money. What a baloney! If we were to pay for late check out, they should have paid us for half of the services unmet and unprovided for. Some hotels think just because they are big machinery with loads of lawyers behind them, they can abuse their power. Not exactly the best way to leave your holidays (and we do not argue this way EVER!), but sometimes it´s inevitable to stand your ground. Despite all this, we really did enjoy our stay as we traveled a lot, we tasted fabulous food, we had fun and we didn´t care. But next time guys, be careful what you sign up for. And don´t let them trick you and cheat you off. Until next time. Have a nice summer guys….