THE FULL CIRCLE

In July of the last year my publisher has announced the arrival of my book titled 'The Full Circle.' This book has been groundbreaking for me in a sense that no one can imagine. I have been itching to write my story for many years, but there seemed to be no end to it, the stories kept pilling up year by year and for the story to be complete, I needed to wait until the time was ripe. 

There never seems to be a proper time to write a book. It is a painstaking process to sit down and start a story from a scratch. In my case, however, the story, the plot, the characters, they all seemed to be already existent at the back of my mind.  The words kept pouring in and the plot seemed to come in abundant waves each morning. I felt the story should be kept as raw and untouched by corrections as possible, as it all came out by pure inspiration, through process of intuitive writing. I had no notes, no character structures, I had no idea what it will be about and where the story will lead me with each scenario. A little bit weird, unprofessional approach, I admit. But I could not, would not, like anything or anyone to interefere with the story itself. I know this book is not perfect, but it's my story that I have lived through and have been ultimately for past 33 years. If you are ROCK music lover, you might as well read it, because it is FOR YOU.

This one is a composition of my personal experience as well as dreams that followed, it is about spiritual journey and special encounters that border with other worlds. It is about events that are connected like a tiny dots on the final map of our life, but we can see the picture only when it is finished. Life surely compiles of little miracles and it is up to us to recognize them for what they are. 

When she was 15, she made a special wish. She asked the soul of a deceased rock star, whom she adored, to arrange for her to meet the people he loved the most. Several years later strange things started happening in her life. Three people in three years. Three signs of love.

Sara and Mark. Two people living in a different country, speaking different languages, occupying a different world. He, a successful Viennese director, teamed up with jealous assistant Elke, insecure Mike, and James, who likes his bottle of Scotch.

On the other hand, Sara, a woman of no obvious importance, lives an uneventful life within a dysfunctional relationship, whose only pleasure is her little daughter Francesca. When she undergoes an adventurous journey that reconnects her with a long-lost relative and learns new facts about her own family, it seems to be more than she asked for. Just when she thought that the circle was full, life will bring her unexpected surprises, revelations, and new meaning to everything.

For purchase, you can go directly to :   https://www.austinmacauley.com/us/book/full-circle?utm_source=DMT+Social+Posts&utm_medium=Social+Posts+US&utm_campaign=Social+Posts+US&utm_id=DMT+Social+Media

or :  https://www.amazon.com/Full-Circle-Teri-Vinopal/dp/1647506883/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2PMI5RDDF2HWG&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.xrivux6vuRQU7CVN3lSZOw.CLjDNwYVCkoOLSUSTtK-7JrqF0zjfmECgVgLUAH9rk4&dib_tag=se&keywords=teri+vinopal&qid=1713790058&s=books&sprefix=teri+vinopal%2Cstripbooks-intl-ship%2C372&sr=1-1

or: https://www.amazon.com/Full-Circle-Inspired-True-Events-ebook/dp/B0C6M28ZP7/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2PMI5RDDF2HWG&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.XHJQQQN_HxBIuO9Ds2xeMg.QLrhcRhq3yV_Q6CGiFHrko0zUuFE6bclI5EweRkdFEc&dib_tag=se&keywords=teri+vinopal&qid=1713790124&s=books&sprefix=teri+vinopal%2Cstripbooks-intl-ship%2C372&sr=1-1-catcorr

with my love, as always, yours Teri 

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Depeche Mode in Prague

My first encounter with the music of Depeche Mode goes back to the 80´s. At this time I could have been around ten years old and their music wouldn´t be much on my playlist. I remember my four year older sister and her generation already listened to them though. Much later, when I was 15 or so, I recall one song that particularly stuck in my mind. Condemnation. I really loved that song. Of course like everybody, I have come to know some of the most famous Depeche Mode songs, those, that have been played on the radio or MTV.

It´s been one of my most favorite bands of my sister. She used to talk of Dave Gahan and they were to her the equivalent of what was Queen to me. That´s why it was my pleasure to accept her Christmas present in form of the ticket to their Prague concert. It was to take place on 24^th May in Eden Arena, in the open space stadium that can take in as many as 20.000 people, and which, according to the daily press, was filled completely. When I arrived in front of the stadium, there were hundreds of black clad people, some of them undoubtedly the hardcore fans, judging by sleek haircuts, bright colored lipsticks and generally mystique, dark appearance. There were also lot of police vans and security personnel due to the Manchester attack few days before. The tension lingered in the air, but the good and positive vibe prevailed nonetheless.  When we got inside, there were already hundreds of people formatting the close knit pack in the centre of the arena, enveloping  the main stage. One hilarious scene before the concert even started was a moment when five security guys grabbed one of the gig attendees each by edge of his clothing and carried him out of the arena, drunk beyond his wildest imagination. I guess he was overexcited to attend his favorite band a little more than necessary.  It looked like they carried a heavy log from the forest, as he was half unconscious and his lifeless body didn´t even protest. After some unknown forerunner who nobody listened to as usual, the big ones came. They kicked off with GOING BACKWARDS. All the hands in front of us rose up in unison and you could barely see Dave through this thick forest. SO MUCH LOVE, BARREL OF GUN, A PAIN THAT I´M USED TO, CORRUPT, IN YOUR ROOM, WORLD IN MY EYES, COVER ME…all these followed with the giant screen in the backdrop playing accompanying videos. To be utterly honest, I didn´t know any of these songs, as I´m not the hardcore fan. But I definitely knew QUESTION OF LUST sang by Martin Gore. Next one I recognized was WALKING IN MY SHOES and EVERYTHING COUNTS. When ENJOY THE SILENCE begun, the whole stadium broke out in one big frantic sheer. Obviously one of the most legendary tunes of Depeche Mode. We all sang at top of our lungs. Dave Gahan was wonderful, turning twists like a ballet dancer and enjoying the rush we gave him, being cocky and all that, but you definitely couldn´t take your eyes off him. There were so many people who sang in one voice, so much energy that one stadium could possibly contain. It was amazing feeling that would overwhelm even the toughest ones. Dave, again dripping wet and half naked, sang NEVER LET ME DOWN AGAIN, with all of us waving our hands in the air, and no matter how squeezed we were, we all waved and waved, Dave giving us a devastatingly cute showcase of how to follow him. The sea of hands moved in the same rhythm and speed and there was no way to escape this. Once you joined the sea, you turned into one of the waves and became inseparable. I recall Freddie Mercury who used to say that it feels like he´s created a monster that reacts to every single move of his finger. I wondered how does it have to feel for Gahan and these big stars, when they win over the stadium full of 20 thousand souls, willing to die for them. I imagied it must be monstrously amazing feeling, a feeling that nobody who hasn´t experienced it, will never comprehend. Then it was turn for Martin, who sang a beautiful ballad of his own, SOMEBODY. The whole stadium darkened and you could only see the lit up lights all across the stadium, which looked like little stars in the ocean of darkness. This was a moment of utter peace on earth, at least for a moment, the feeling quite indescribable and rare. Next song was HEROES, by David Bowie, which was understandably very touching moment. The big black flag was being projected onto the screen behind Dave, who gave it all, when dedicating it to his musical hero. Next song was I FEEL YOU and the last, PERSONAL JESUS, a song that once again contributed to mass madness and brought us to a boil.
 I have been to several concerts in my life, but this one must have been the most emotionally charged, passionate and inspirational one. They got under my skin after all. Unfortunately, the show had to end precisely at 10pm due to the rules, so we didn´t get any bonus songs, but with a show full of so much energy, it was alright, as the scope of what we have just witnessed stayed and lingered in all of us, long after we left the stadium. Some of the fans were unhappy to see it end so abruptly, so they kept singing their songs while climbing up the stairs and it evoked so much interest that some people even started recording them. One more legend I can put down on my list and say to myself, hell yeah, I went to see the legendary Depeche Mode, the guys whose songs we have listened to when we were fifteen. They are still around, as much as their songs. They are immortal and always will be. 

Queen in Prague

Queen in Prague at last. How many years has it been since I saw Roger and Brian? It makes me wonder, for it has been 21 years since I saw Roger walking down the pathwalk when collecting his award and 17 years since I shook hands with Brian. It has been an unbelievable passage of time during which so many things have happened – meeting Barbara, Phoebe, Jim and Kashmira – but only last night completed the circle when Queen performed in front of my eyes, twenty years later, united and although prevalently old and grey, still giving it their best. I used to be a great fan of Adam Lambert when he sang on American Idol several years ago. I watched the show just because of him and I admired the way he could mesmerize the audience with his high pitched, shrieking and rock voice that could break the glass in the windows. At that time, when he chose a duet with Queen, I suddenly knew he should have sung with the band, for he gave such a brilliant performance. It didn´t take long before I saw Queen announce the next tour would include Adam. For as a matter of fact, I´m good at predicting these things.

The opening of the gig started off little bit on a heavy side, with One Vision where the drums and voice and guitars were overwhelmingly loud. Two songs in, the music seemed to relax a bit more.
I knew what to expect from Adam, for I have seen him many times. He is young, shocking, unique and quite theatrical, so singing Killer Queen on a purple sofa wasn´t a big deal for him, while acting like one. Voice wise, he did sing great, though a little higher than what we are used to from Freddie, but then again, we are used to loads of different things from Freddie.
It was then, that my heart started pounding a lot faster, when Brian took to his stool in the centre of the protruding stage, grabbed a guitar and sang us one of the ballads. He took time to thank us all for being there, and also added we could sing this song together for Freddie. The big screen behind him showed him in several videos. There were moments when I just barely breathed, this one probably one of them. At the end of the song, Brian looked extremely touched by all the emotion that swept through the air, and wiped his tears.

It was also a huge surprise to see Roger Taylor singing two songs, one of which was Freddie´s „swan song“ These are the Days. I have always heard him as a backing voice, and although I knew he could sing, I barely ever heard him singing any of the songs to which Freddie gave a stamp. The old greying, bearded man, stood there, singing amazingly clearly and beautifully. For the first time I realized – how many great talents individual members of Queen actually had. They did sometimes stay in the shadow of the giant, to be fair. Saying that, I suddenly noticed the change in the structure of the show, so much different from what Freddie would have done. Of course they didn´t forget to have a separate 15 minute one man show – with Brian throwing in his guitar solo – and Roger drumming side by side with his son Rufus Tiger. Roger and Brian just needed this space, which they couldn´t generally use as much while performing with Freddie, where all his ideas of singing usually beat the rest. No doubt Freddie and his voice were the most important to the overall image of Queen – carrying the tune in every song – with instruments only underlining the Queen uniqueness. However, seeing Roger killing the drums like a God of revenge, it was quite an exciting sight to be presented with.
The band used many amazing technical effects, different coloured laser beams, light torches, smoke machines, firework style gold sparkling guns and colossal screens with very ambitious art designs accompanying each live sequence. There was also this enormous construction styled into a ship, with nose and stern on each side of the stage, from which Adam sang and tried to pump up the public.
The amazing effect gadget was a huge red circle hanging above the stage, which kept lifting up and down several times during the concert and from which shone thousands of red and green laser beams that pointed in hundreds of directions throughout the whole arena. For a while it looked almost like in a dark fosforescent jungle, with the beams resembling the sunlight breaking through the heavy darkness, giving it a magical feel.
The other member of the band was also Neil Fairclough, a friend of Suzanne and Andy, two of my good friends, who joined the band after Brian heard him playing his bass guitar so well. John Deacon has never participated on anything that Brian and Roger produced or tried to bring forth, and nobody has ever heard about him since. It is a pity...eventhough...one can quite understand his choice. Without Freddie there can´t be any Queen. It is quite true. But one question is –if Freddie is replaceable – and another question is, what would Freddie want? I´m sure he would definitely want them to go on and keep their music alive in every sense. I think he knew he could trust each one of them, and be sure they would never abuse their status in the band for the sole purpose of money gain. He knew he surrounded himself with peers who loved their music as much as he did and that all they´ll ever do will be done in regard to the fans. It is quite difficult matter to decide if Queen should have ceased doing what they are doing just because the King has left the throne. Sure, they never fully replaced him by another one, due to impossibility of the task itself. They only borrowed a new singer to fill up the gap, to show that Queen hasn´t died just yet, to spice it up, make it approachable to the young audience and prove it doesn´t have to end. The show must go on, as a genius once said.

That brings me back to the moment when Bohemian Rhapsody burst through the loud speakers and Adam´s face kept switching back to the big screen where Freddie sang away as if nothing has really changed. He sat behind his piano, next to the stage with real life Brian and Roger – and despite of the fact he was the one who didn´t exist in our reality – it was him– having the most powerful presence of all, allowing us to enter into his innermost world. The atmosphere at moments like these grew heavy and sad, as it reminded me (and I dare to say – to all of us) that this particular wound of missing Freddie, will never be healed, no matter how many years have passed, no matter how many people will try to bring back the good old times, no matter how many new faces will stand on the stage next to Roger and Brian. Some people simply remain irrepleacable after all, but it´s a good thing. It would be lot sadder if they were so easily substituted.
The eyes of thousands watched his every move as if for the last time....then, he disappeared into the darkness to the sound of thunderous applause. The applause he must have heard in heaven, I´m sure.

17.2.2015

Queen - the opening scene 

Adam Lambert finally coming out

Rogert Taylor drumming

Brain May

singing "Love of my life" that brought us to tears and him too

the whole ensamble

Rufus Tiger with his Dad

Roger singing marvelously These are the Days of Our lives

Freddie couldn´t miss this....

drum battlefield...

The applause of 15 000 people....

When Lenny hit the Town

On the 19th of December he finally arrived! His previously cancelled gig that was sabotaged by his illness and postponed until today, was replaced in equivalent style. It only made us more excited. 

Me and Eva went to grab some bite into the pub across the road from the Arena and then we have waited for Aneta in a drizzling rain. There weren´t as many people by the main entrance gates, which allowed us to get in quite easily. After being scanned over like a bunch of terrorists, we got through as discreetly as possible. As we had places booked for standing in front of the stage, we merrily run toward the front, which was the second best position closest to the stage without it being the most expensive. But boy, the waiting! We have sat there from 6.30 till 8pm, when the Arena was already filled with people, and the forerunners (whose name nobody remembers) started to play. It was so obnoxious to wait for so long and still see no sign of Lenny, that many people got upset during the band´s performance and tried to shout them out. The singer wasn´t bad, their music was quite alright, but the nervousnesss was prevaling at this point. People were unhappy and started calling Lenny´s name, so the singer got little upset and shouted back :“I love you too“. 

It had been a heartbreaking and tiring hour and a half of waiting in the united tension. While we had listened to Freddie´s Rock it (Prime Jive), which made me all the more jittery, and The Who, two of my most favorite bits of all time, the huge stage curtain kept only blowing in the wind without any signs of other movement. The only person who has ever walked out was a tuner guy with Santa´s hat on. 

And then, finally, the lights turned off, and the band walked out and….well, Lenny still kept hiding in the shadows – and then suddenly appeared in the middle of the stage like this God (which of course he was). I had had a feeling that his first song will be the one I love the most – „Dirty white boots“. There is a story tied to this one, as whenever I had sang it, I thought he sings Dirty white boobs, which didn´t make much sense, but it made me laugh when I realized he sings about boots instead. And guess what, he started off just with that. It was quite spectacular to see him in flesh. I remember having watched him on MTV when I was a kid some 20 years ago or more, when he still fashioned his long dreadlocks, and seeing him after such a long time twenty metres right in front of my eyes, still looking preposterously young and cool, I could not help but to swoon with pleasure. He was so ridiculously sexy in his clothes and with his unique, frivolous body language.  If you could put confidence in one word, concentrated into a person, it would have to be him.  I loved the way he jerked his head from time to time, it was a body language of black singers, the moves of the real soul musicians, the ones who have music in their veins instead of blood. It was tantalizing to watch him, not mentioning the way ha sang. He thanked us all for coming, and shouted out "Thank you Praha" several times- which always brought on a huge aplaus. Another songs he entertained were American woman,  It ain´t over till it´s over, Strut, Dancing till down, Sister, Let love rule (at which he made us all sing along), Fly away, The Chamber, or Are you gonna go my way. All of them were fabulous and brought us all to the boiling point. At least the front rows were all heated up. It took a while for him to lift the people up from their seats and make  them join in singing Let love rule. Czechs are just glued to their places and it´s not the first time I´ve encoutered this, they  act as if being scared to show any sing of pleasure or excitement. But I sang and screamed and danced, as if nothing of this mattered. The good one was "I belong to you", where even the shyest person got up, sang and waved their hands. After he walked away from the stage having been received with enormous aplaus, we were calling him out for another ten minutes in complete darkness, desparately shouting his name and whistling. It already seemed he won´t re-appear. But he did, and he took an ace out of his sleeve! Santana himself came on the stage and played a solo. It was a big shock, as nobody had expected surprise of such kind. Well, I guess Lenny just wanted to tease us a little! One thing is for sure, I´ll never forget this gig, it was utterly mind shattering experience, for me almost the same as if I had seen Jim Hendrix, eventhough it wouldn´t be right to make such comparisons. But tell me honestly, is there anyone on the musical scene these days, who´d make such good music and still rock in his 50´s that would come as close to Hendrix as Lenny has? I doubt it. And when he smiled, it was as if the heaven opened.....Hallelujah :)

Rufus Wainwright in Hybernia

It has all started by me listening to George Michael´s singing "Going to town" in his concert. He named Rufus Wainwright as the author. I didn´t know anything about that guy and for some weird reason I have imagined him to be some old, scruffy musical degenarate, someone like aged Johny Cash.
I was shocked to find out he was exactly the opposite. Young, fresh, gay and loud. Boyishly handsome. Canadian. I have listened to some songs on youtube and became instantly addicted to his piano playing, head jerking and voice manouvering. It all felt like some long forgotten feeling that felt good, only you haven´t known you could have ever feel like this.
So there he was, coming on 25th March 2014 to Prague with his step sister Lucy Wainwright Roche. She was funny, hillarious on stage, and some of her songs were quite moving. But when Rufus entered the stage and sat behind the black piano, the air suddenly shifted and the energy changed. It was like watching some wild chimera, the very organic and raw, that keeps stunning over and over again. His voice sounded perfect, the timing and the lightness of it all only reverberating through the hall like the invisible cloud over our heads. I could see his face, always smiling, with nonchalant smirk and his eyes sparkling as he moved his fingers on the keyboard. The first song to open with was Grey gardens, my most favourite one. He popped his head from left to right as if he had it softly sown to his neck, without ever looking ridiculous. That was his trademark movement, and it worked. People were already accustomed to his fancy behaviour, so often called camp. I can´t describe the sound of his voice. It was like listening to the sweetest, most vibrant, and emotional tune I have heard. He kept amusing his audience by his comments about wearing not so cool jeans (ripped up on his tights), making remarks about his balls hanging out from the trousers he put on earlier on in a last attempt to look professional. The whole performance was amazing and full of surprises, for example when Lucy changed into Liza Minelli or one of the crew members came running onto stage looking like Rocky Balboa. Rufus played so many well known songs, I reckon all of which were from his latest album Vibrate. When he was about to finish, we weren´t having enough and wanted more. We gave him standing ovations and he threw about five more songs to make us happy. I waved at him and at one point I believe he waved back in my direction, as I was the only one who dared to. And of course, I yelled and screamed when I liked the song, which I did, most of the time. It was the most amazing concert I have ever been to. I love Rufus Wainwright, but to be able to recapture those special moments, I have to transcend into quite different world each time....because that´s what he does to you, when you listen to him. This is not your regular shallow music. This is a soul food that will keep you alive for as long as you breathe.

St. Patrick Rocks Prague - Aslan and Dave Morrissey

This was to be my first St. Paddy´s celebrated in Prague, and I was getting ready for it since the moment I´ve found out that Aslan is gonna play there! I´ve seen Aslan back in 2002 in Langtons, Kilkenny and I must say it was one of the most memorable gigs I´ve been to. Christy was pretty wild back then. So when I discovered they are playing here, I knew I can´t give it a miss. The first concert took place in Acropolis on 16th March and day after that they performed at open air on Wenceslas square. So I went to both places, just not to miss something. And eventhough I´ve paid for the first gig, I didn´t mind as much.
They were singing pretty much the same stuff as they sang some ten years ago, but I think they had a new bass guitarist now, Roddy O´Brien. Christy seemed like he aged a lot since I´ve seen him, perhaps because of drinking heavily as any Irish do, god knows..but his performance was stunning. His play of hands and mimicking were just crazy enough to make crowds scream for more. He didn´t even bother about being too close to fans, he shook our hands and as I was pretty close to him at all times, we shook our hands too, which was nice. On Wenceslas square were crowds and I mean crowds! of people, many of them knew who Aslan is, and sang along or at least pretended they did...
The stage also served its purpose for other ensambles throughout the day. There was this enormous choir of Irish singers who sang Irish soccer hymn and Black Eyed Peas´ "I´ve got a feeling", which was hillarious! Then there was a group of about ten youngsters, Gaelic dancers, who danced pretty good dance and jig into the tunes of bahroan and Irish trad music. Well, I was very pleased to be there, and very excited about seeing Aslan again, as I used to be quite keen fan of them. Plus, I really liked Roddy :)

Leprechauns hats worn by all Irish

or green stockings and jerseys....

the Gaelic step dancers were brilliant

Dave Morrisey and studio 65 were good too

Christy Dignam from Aslan blew everyone away

and shocked many by his unusual hand "language"

great gig that was

closer and closer to his fans..

The Art of Hard Rock exhibition - 17/2/12 - Prague

This exhibition displayed the portraits, paintings, instruments and some other creations of famous Rock and Pop icons of our time. I´ve seen Michael Jackson´s self portrait, which was basically a simple drawing of himself from the times of Moonwalk era, not extremely exquisite drawing to be honest but still nice to see something that maestro has done. The only portrait that had some artistic value would be probably Ron Wood´s picture, which looked rather professional and good quality. The rest of the drawings were mostly doodles - the likes of self portrait of Jim Morrison, over which I laughed a lot, or Billy Idol´s signature drawing...that looked as if painted by 5 year old school kid, ha ha. There were also some masks done by Julian Lennon (very intriguing one I must say), or Bruce Dickinson, Roger Daltrey or Mike Olfield. I quite liked the drawing by Pete Townshend, or by John Entwistle from Who, the painting of Elton John as a Superman in his Tommy musical bright coloured boots flying above the Earth. There were also some paintings of stars by Ringo Starr (however, they all looked same to me), and I was quite upset there weren´t any pictures by Freddie, Elton or Jimi Hendrix - as Freddie was the best painter of them all! Anyway, quite good exhibition, but there could be lot more work from other artists....

Ronnie Wood   from Rolling Stones

Bruce Dickinson

Ringo Starr 

Michael Jackson - self portrait

John Entwistle "The Who" - Elton John

Paul Stanley from Kiss

Pete Townshend

Jim Morrison´s self portrait

George Michael in concert

George Michael was in Prague on 14^th November 2011 in O2 Arena and I was there!

He´s been our childhood icon since the time of his biggest hits like Freedom, I want you sex, Last Christmas or Father Figure. He´s definitely been a figure in our lives for sure...

It was so tantalizing to sit and watch from far above the whole arena underneath slowly filling up with people, who came for the same reason – to see, to feel, to hear, to experience the breathtaking George Michael, who has never visited Prague before.

When people finally took their seats, it all begun. The lights went off, the stage lit up with red neons and George made an entrance attended by Prague symphonic orchestra, that he chose for his unfolding World tour. The first song to sound was Through from the last album Patience, then came My baby just Cares for me. Only after twenty minutes or so he sang the remake of True Faith by New Order that he toyed with by giving his voice an electronic feel. His first proper aplaus came about after singing Kissing a fool and You have been loved that he personally dedicated to his Mother. I could hear his voice so clearly, it was the most beatiful feeling I´ve experienced since a long time. We barely saw him from our positions, that´s how far he was, eventhough we watched through our binoculars or sometimes cought a glimpse of him on the projection screen right behind him. Most of the screen was used for grafic projections though, and all various effects.

The stage lights were changing with each new song, once they were red, next time purple or blue, sometimes only pale white. Extraordinary show! Next song he chose to give us was Going to Town by Rufus Wainwright, then  Doesn´t really matter which was dedicated to all failed relationships. After this, the song Roxanne, borrowed from Police that sounded through the arena with the screen projection of prostitutes at the background.

After twenty minute break, there was a projection of all famous faces like Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, John Lennon or Elvis Presley. When he played Russian Roulette by Rihanna, it was a big surprise, and I must admit I really loved it. Then followed Amy Winehouses´s Love is a Loosing game, of which I thought sounded better than the original. He also confessed to his finished problematic relationship with his former partner Kenny to whom he dedicated the song Where I hope you are. We also got our older hits like Freedom and Different corner, by which time the whole arena stood up and nearly shattered the whole place down. We screamed like one man, thundered like a big volcano just to bring him back after he announced the end of the show. We wouldn´t let him leave the stage. It was phenomenal moment. After what we brought him back from the backstage, he run forward with broad smile on his face and after a short pause he said:“ Prague, you sound and feel fucking amazing!“ and he gave us some extra tunes. It wasn´t enough though, as we called him out once again, this time with no chance of bringing him out for the third time. It was amazing show, I loved it and I´m really grateful I haven´t missed this rare chance of seeing my childhood icon. Michael is still one of the greatest singers of our time and one can only wish him all the best that he deserves. 

The funny moment of the night was probably when he was introducing us his ensamble as all artists usually do. He smiled when he said :"Prague, give an aplause to your own orchestra!" And you bet we did! :) 

As it all begun

I begun listening to Queen when I was twelve years old. The voice of Freddie Mercury was not only awe inspiring and enchanting but hugely addictive.  The fate decided that Queen will become my most favourite band ever. And it has been that way ever since. I loved Freddie extremely much, not just as a singer but also as a human being. I admired him for his spirit and courage and free mind. I loved his laughter, his childish  sense of humour and style. He definitely carried his heart on sleeve and to me,he was a very admirable person, whom not many people have come to known. When I was in my teens and times seemed difficult to get through on my own, I realized I can talk to him as one would talk to a friend. He turned into my imaginary mate. To make things more magic, I made a secret wish. I asked Freddie one thing - just one - to make me meet all people he loved the most. Guess what. That wish kept coming through in years to come and I thought I might share this story with you, because it´s as extraordinary as you might think it sounds like....
Me and my best friend Paul shared our love for Queen´s music and everything that was to do with them. We went to welcome Roger Taylor in 1994 in Prague, when he came to collect his EMI awards. Eventhough it was a really short meeting, I´ve seen a glimpse of him. At last! Paul stayed and followed Roger to his hotel and waited all night in the freezing cold just to be able to take a picture with him. He succeeded, needed to say.

In 1998 there was this big European tour of Brian May. He came to perform in Prague and play some well known tunes usually sung by Freddie. It was very extraordinary experience, especially when seeing him face to face after the show where only a group of chosen fans was allowed. He posed for a photo and shook our hands, one by one. Have to say, a very nice gentleman...

At that time I haven´t really considered these experiences to be anyhow unusual, not more than any other ones. I´ve simply seen Roger Taylor and Brian May. Anyone could be that lucky. 
The turn in events came the following year. I started to work for FC Queen and as my nature dictated, I wanted to write about Freddie - not anyone else - so I was assigned the role. I also started to work on my book that I called "Little Mercurologist", which was clumsy collection of facts and analyses of his character done through various methods (astrology, numerelogy etc.) Therefore, when I run out of inspiration, I decided to make a small journey to Munich, where Freddie was said to lead quite wild and joyfull life. I have read in some biographies, that Freddie´s good friend and past lover Barbara Valentin, has lived in Munich. I wasn´t hoping to see her, as there were no directions to her whereabouts, however, I intended to stroll around the city and visit all those "dangerous" gay clubs he used to frequent. I wasn´t alone, to say this much. My best friend Paul was there too. 

We´ve been to many places and many clubs, but in New York night club, this young German fellow danced his way through to us. His name was David, and he seemed to be really keen on striking the conversation. After what he learnt the purpose of our journey, he wrote me the address of a night club, in which I could meet Barbara herself. To cut the story short, we´ve met her, seen her, and talked to her and the experience of that night went far beyond my wildest imagination. I seem to have lost the photo of the three of us taken by her friend, however, I still have the post card that she took out from her car and signed. Barbara has died on 22nd February, 2002, only 3 years after this encounter. She is said to have died of a stroke. Barbara was a wonderful, funny and beautiful woman.                      

So that was the story so far. Meeting Barbara was a nice, pleasurable experience, but somehow even that didn´t make me think more of it.
I took it only as a game of a coincidence. Wouldn´t most of us? 

The year 2000 brought along big changes in my life. I´ve moved to Ireland, where I´ve worked and met my now ex-boyfriend. It was one day that I mentioned my love for Queen to my co-worker, Alison. Just for the craic, as Irish would say. After what I mentioned Freddie´s name, it seemed as if the whole avalanche of events started off by itself. First Alison. She told me that she knows Eddie, Jim Hutton´s brother. For those of you these names don´t ring a bell, Jim has been Freddie´s lover and "husband" for past twelve years or so. They shared their lives together, and Jim has even written a book called "Me and Mercury", that became very popular due to its honest contents. This still wouldn´t be that surprising to many, but when my boyfriend told me that his friend´s girlfriend is going out with Jim´s niece, I couldn´t think this was just another coincidence. Out of all countries in the world, out of all cities in the whole Ireland, out of all towns that Ireland has, I was to be in the same place as Jim Hutton. That couldn´t be called pure chance. Or was it? 

And then I was to meet Jim in person. My boyfriend and his friend agreed to take him out on a Queen tribute night and I was to come along. What an exciting night! I sat right next to him and chatted with him all evening. At one stage, when we were involved in conversation and I sort of run out of questions, I asked him how is Phoebe (another close friend of Freddie´s). Jim told me that Phoebe just moved to Prague where he opened his new store. What a surprise to hear that Phoebe lives in the city from which I come from. Anyway, that night me and Jim had the greatest time ever.

And so, another year went by. I came back to Prague and sort of fell into the old routine. I still remembered what Jim has told me about Phoebe, but there was no way I could ever figure out where he could be, because Prague is one huge city. However... my Mother came home one day, holding this magazine I´ve never seen before and said that there is this article about Phoebe. She bought it just "by accident". It wasn´t an ordinary article. This one contained the exact address of Phoebe´s shop. No way would I let this chance slip away. 

It was January 2002 when I decided to visit Phoebe in his store. I did find him indeed, and I also had a chance to tell him all what has happened, how did I see Barbara and met Jim, and it all seemed so surreal. I can´t say why, but it almost felt as if someone up there was planning it all along. I remember Phoebe smiling at me, when he was signing up a dedication into his autobiography "An intimate memoir by the man who knew him best". When I was leaving the shop, his dedication read like this:

You found me!! 

So there was the end to meeting all of Freddie´s past lovers and friends, I thought. The journey finished, there was nowehere else to go.

I was happy, content and pleased with myself. I felt as if close to heaven, it couldn´t get any better. But then, in 2004, I decided for my fate to take a different turn. 

I went back to Ireland, this time for much longer. Another 6 long years. And within those years, many things happened. I didn´t go back because of Jim, don´t take me wrong. I went back because of my then boyfriend, but it happened that me and Jim still kept seeing each other and meeting at different ocassions from time to time. For example, he was once in my house, where we watched all Freddie´s videos and discussed them, or talked about his disease. We also went dancing one night in a dance club. We talked. We laughed. We exchanged text messages several times, when I needed some advice on how to grow plants. He was happy go lucky sort of guy who liked to keep circle of his closest friends and it was very difficult to reach him otherwise, but I was happy he accepted me as one of them. 6 years have passed when I got bad news from my boyfriend. He said he talked to Jim, who was diagnosed with cancer. To cut it short, I´ve seen him only once after this ordeal. 

He was connected to oxygen tubes and looked pretty ill. I knew then - that this is the last time I see him, but didn´t  dare to come close and say goodbye. I didn´t dare to speak. So, just shortly before Christmas, Jim has died. I went to his month´s mass in Church, to give him my goodbye, and went to his grave to leave some flowers. It was incredibly sad time. That´s when I believed the circle closed completely. With Barbara and Jim gone, there wasn´t much left, only memories. I went back home to Prague, accepting the life as it went along, knowing, that I´ll never see my dear friends again...

 The Carlow newspaper had it all over the front page.

Jim Hutton was gone for good.

I´m here in Prague for last year and half, sorting through memories and past events. I thought this chapter that had Freddie written all over it has finished. Two people gone, excluding Freddie himself. I thought there could be no more of such wonderful chances. No more surprises from above. No more shocking news and tilting events. Not ever again. I even missed Freddie´s anniversary gathering in Montreux, because of my work. I felt rather sad, but I kept thinking that without Jim and Barbara it wouldn´t be such a good event anyway. And then, out of a sudden,there is this invitation on our Queen FC page. Not only I´m still in the course for being present at Freddie´s anniversary right here in Prague. There will be Phoebe, who helps to organize the whole event, and also - there will be Kashmira Cooke, Freddie´s own sister! Again, I have to ask myself the same question - out of all places in the world, out of all corners of the earth, out of all cities....why did she choose Prague?! Can anyone explain me why? But maybe I´ll leave this controversial question to someone who understands the laws of the Universe or has some other crazy theory. I just stick to my own belief that Freddie has been somewhere up there, making all my wishes come true....

Kashmira, Freddie´s sister, who´s gonna be present in Prague on the 20th anniversary of her brother's death. 

I hope I will be able to talk to her eye to eye and give her a little present...

Tonight, the 19^th November 2011 was the most marked event I have been waiting for impatiently for several months. Freddie Mercury´s  sister Kashmira accepted the invitation by our Queen Fan Club through a meditated help of Freddie´s personal assistant Peter Freestone, who actually has been residing in Czech Republic for last 10 years.

The event took place in Mlejn Club, quite common ground to all smaller bands from Prague. Karel Lehner, my long time friend, and a chairman of Prague Tornado Queen FC, has set his mind on bringing forth the best show ever. I met him shortly before the whole evening. There were tenths of people waiting outside the club, queuing up and most of them were trying to get tickets as the show was utterly sold out. As one entered, there was a half naked hostess with plastic cup of champagne, there was also Queen shop where you could buy loads of different gifts, the AIDS charity collection and also a little bistro where you could quench your thirst. That all, followed by merry buzz and chit chat of all happily tuned people. At the back was the entrance into the concert hall, where many folks have gathered to watch the several documentaries dedicated to Queen and Freddie.

After 7 pm the event commenced by Karel coming on stage, moderating the whole show as it slowly unfolded. He informed us that due to the security measures, Kashmira didn´t wish to give any public signing or photographing. She is said to go to such events very seldom, this was to be her third public appearance. The first one was in London on Queen official gathering (where fans threw themselves at her), Montreux was the second. What a wonderful thing to know that she chose to go to Prague, out of all other cities in the world, where are undoutedly millions of fans who would do anything to see her. All this was due to the unmistakable presence of Peter Freestone, Phoebe – as I like to call him – without whom there would be no Kashmira. I also have to mention that it wasn´t only 20 years since Freddie left us, but it was almost exactly that lenght of time since I´ve known him. I was only 12 years when I discovered him. It was also 15 years of FC Queen Tornado existence. So many anniversaries around that it seemed like a very crucial day in many of its aspects.

There was the short introduction of the facts and then we only gave a huge applaus when Phoebe entered the stage, taking a seat and mike in order to pass the test of „questions“, which he passed pretty well. He talked most of the time in Czech, which was rather funny because his pronounciation and several grammar mistakes made it sound lot more real and honest. He talked about being nearly half Czech, the proud citizen of our country, talking of how people are nice to him in place where he lives, that his neighbours bring him eggs and stuff, always being polite and friendly. He said he´s never had so many good friends, not even when living in England. He talked about Czech food, his favourite one being duck with dumplings and red cabbage. He talked of the beautiful Prague´s architecture and said, that Freddie would have definitely loved it here. He mentioned that one of his most favourite movies is Slunce seno jahody (Sun hay and strawberries) by Zdeněk Troška, and admitted to contemplating to translate it for wider British audience. Among his favourite Czech musicians were Lucie Bílá, Karel Gott, Petr Kotvald and Kamil Střihavka. He smiled all the time, dimples in his cheeks, his big brown eyes warmly shining at each glance, porched on the chair, as if there was no other place he´d rather be at. Karel also suggested he could be candidating for a post of Czech Prime Minister of Culture, that he´d be good at it, which made Phoebe laugh. 

And there came Kashmira. She walked out of the dark backstage only to re-appear into the light like an angel. Small, tender and visibly petite lady in her fourties (although she is 60), wearing tight trousers, high boots and leather jacket – she looked astonishingly beautiful. Her dark hair fell to her shoulders, and she kept smiling so tenderly one would melt. There was definitely something that slightly resembled the essence of her brother – be it in her smile, underneath the shine of her eyes or simple movements. They were siblings bound by blood, that´s for certain. I could feel she was little bit nervous and tried to fight off her shyness, which she also admitted to. But other than that she put on an impression of genuine, loving and intelligent woman, that she was. Karel was giving her various questions with help of the translator, which could get bit rough at times (due to slower communication on the part of translator), however, Kashmira answered as best as she could. Most of us knew by now, that herself and Freddie haven´t been seeing much of each other when they were growing up, him living in boarding house in Panchgani for seven years. Therefore there was way too little to talk about. She only admitted to remember that at the later stage in life, Freddie would often try to surprise her by calling her or coming down to see her and flooding her with beautiful presents of all sorts. That´s what she liked to remember, as that´s what she loved. She also said that she went to most of his concerts („for free of course!“, she said laughing), and she followed Queen´s music. When being asked how would she use the opportunity should Freddie come back for one day, she said that one thing she regrets is the fact that Freddie never saw her kids growing up. She said she´d wish to bring Freddie back at least for one day for him to be able to spend some time with them. When asked if her children would listen to their Uncle´s music, she said that her son would, but her daughter has rather weird taste in music, which was followed by a mighty laughter from us fans. When being asked what she liked and disliked about Freddie, she said what she disliked about him was his bad habit of jumping into other people´s conversation. Phoebe intervened at that point to add, that Freddie always believed that whatever others had to say was less important than what „he“ was thinking. Again, this was met with uproar and laughter, as we all could imagine what Freddie was like. Kash then said, that what she liked about her brother most, was his ability to make her laugh, and crack jokes. Being asked if she liked Prague, she said she loved it and that the first thing she´d done was bit of shopping. She said that next time she comes she´ll have to buy better shoes for our cobbled streets, so Phoebe jumped in by saying that once he´s the Czech Prime Minister, he will make sure the streets have better pavements :) 

When being asked if Freddie would love Prague, she said that by knowing him, he would definitely love the architecture as he was very much artistic person. Karel then asked her what does she think herself and Freddie had most in common, she answered that it would probably have to be "perfection. We both were perfectionists", to which answer Phoebe only nodded as in agreement. Karel then gave Phoebe a framed official Membership of FC Tornado Queen, and to Kashmira he gave a Czech Crystal. One of the more funny moments were the questions laid by the audience itself. One man wanted to direct his question on Kashmira calling her "Shakira", and another one asked Phoebe if he plans on being burried in Prague!!!! I wanted to die instead of Phoebe, to be honest - as I didn´t know how will he take such a morbid question, but to my surprise, Phoebe didn´t even wink :) He said he will be burried here! We all gave a thundering apllause when they were leaving. After they departed, I was looking for a way to get to see her, as I had been promised by Karel that I will be able to meet her eye to eye. Karel disappeared and there was no way I could talk to him. That´s why I decided to take an action and looked for the side entrance meant only for staff. The doors was opened, so I entered and quietly sneaked into the backstage area where were organisers and other people. (sorry folks, I just had to) Nobody questioned me what am I doing there, so I dared even further. One girl was there too, wanting to give her a present (she probably got the same idea), so we both waited for Karel, who was running around. One of the bodyguards didn´t let us in any closer, so it was just about waiting. Kashmira and her husband, together with Phoebe came out after a while, to be photographed by an official photographer, their picture to be taken with the band Queenie who were to play afterwards. And then my moment came. Of course I asked Phoebe to be photographed with him, it´s been 10 years since meeting him in his store where he´d sign me his book with dedication. I regretted ever since that I never thought of a picture, so now I could re-do my mistake from the past. He was very willing and nice, being used to have his photographs taken 24 hours a day with fans from all over the world. And then I went over to Kashmira. I have to admit that I was quite nervous (same as I was nervous when meeting Barbara Valentin, Jim Hutton, Brian May, Roger Taylor, Peter Freestone...well...pretty much everyone!!!!). I came forward and I THINK I shook her hand and told her how much I´m happy to finally see her and I gave her my present (the golden box with angel bell and poem by Ch.H. Andersen). She smiled at me broadly, her dark eyes flickering in the bright light. I tried to keep the image of her face in my mind, even for a short moment. After all that I kept thinking to myself, this is the only chance you´ve got to see her and once this moment is gone you´ll regret you never asked her for a photo, same as you had with Phoebe. So when it almost seemed as if she was about to leave, I asked her with pleading eyes to have photo with her, and she agreed!!! I told her that it´s my dream come true, and she smiled. So there was I standing next to Kashmira, nervous as hell, my left arm putting over her back (she seemed like a little child, so vulnerable and tiny comparing to me), but then of course I realized I shouldn´t be putting my arms around her as if she was my little sister, so I took it off immediately. Me, herself and her husband posed for the photo, taken by one of the FC guards. The first photo of me and her alone didn´t come out well, Mr Photographer didn´t check that it´s blurred, so the only one I´ve got left is the one of three of us. Anyway, it doesn´t really matter, I achieved what I came for. The night was amazing. I walked off to the front where the concert was slowly commencing, to join the crowds and sing along the songs that united us all, and have been uniting us for last 20 years and more. It seemed as if Freddie hasn´t been gone at all, it seemed as if he was still present with us, all around us, in all of us, and through each of his songs. Even Kashmira said something about feeling as if he was still around. And as I later on looked on the photos I´ve taken, there were big orbits floating around her – that made me believe Freddie is indeed among us.  

Phoebe and I after 10 years....

Kasmira and her husband Roger Cooke, and me........

Phoebe being interviewed on stage...

Kash looking amazing

the orbs above her head were telling me something...

Kash with the band

Kash holding my present (golden box)

and the final saying goodbye to our guests....

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